Huimin

我有个东西很想要学，也是跟传统文化有关的。 它就是跟神坛。我不知道为什么我会喜欢这些东西的， 也许是从小到大都到处去看神坛跳乩和它们的拜神的仪式。 不懂在什么时候，我开始喜欢了。 我常常都会到狮城八海宫那里拜平安，有时会问天神或阴神东西。 从那时开始看到有一对年轻人在哪里帮忙，这一幕让我发现 神坛文化不一定老一辈的，年轻人也是可以学了，然后接手传承给下一代。 从那时开始我都会去狮城八海宫拜神和看看。 我已经到狮城八海宫拜了很多年了，我有想过到那边去学习和让自己更进一步去了解和接触。 但是我不知道为什么我不敢去开口。我真的很想学和了解。 I really want to give a try but I really scare to say out and go and ask. This i because I was scare being reject this is why i don't dare to say and ask about it. If would to ask me which sintua i will be joining I will sure go to 狮城八海宫， this is because over there I am very familiar with all the 理事。尤其是 Cat 姐，jimmy 大哥，Wilson 哥哥，和June姐。 我和他们是朋友，所以我去哪里他们会照顾我的。 我真的很想去学但是我不敢开口说。 I don't know how am going to make myself have the courage to say out and ask for the chance.

我还有一个梦想想要实现，但是不知道几时罢了。 我的梦想就是要成为一个歌星，在舞台上唱着我喜欢的，在舞台上享受自己。 让更多人认识我。Actually I really love sing and I really enjoy the feeling of standing on the stage enjoy those joy and happiness. I really wish my dream will come true and will always think of what make me to love singing, I also don't know why I love singing.  Really wish one day I will be standing on the stage.. I want to sing those song i like and those song represented to my friendship and sisterhood. 我想把我想说话用歌声来呈现和告诉我身边的朋友。但是，不知道这个机会几时到来。

I really don't know what to say to her if one day she found out those things and found out is I did one I reach will get myself into troubles liao. Really I don't want this things to happen and want those can hide forever she don't find out and give me some time to return back. Seriously I have no choice to do this kind of things this is because I really don't want make myself embarrasse and also don't want make my family know this issues. I really don't want later this house also I can't stay and maybe will go to jail. I really don't want it to happen.. I will think of ways to return every thing back to her as soon as possible. 

I really scare things that I have done will be find out one day and everyday I was thinking of ways to return back. This is because I don't want things to be expose out by her. I really have no choice this is why i am doing this things but now I really don't know how to stop all this things and stop every things from happen. If one day she found out and if she send me to jail, I am prepare for all the things that happen and I am ready for what is going to happen sooner. I really this things don't be happen forever and she won't be found out anything from me and find out what i have done... I really feel sorry about it and don't want things to make it big.. I really feel that i am doing this things but the reason is I really have no choice that why I am doing this. What I can do now is find ways to return her back.. I really very scare that things will happen and will make me can't stay in this house. I know what I done wrong. But this is only way I can do. I rea...

我不明白为什么我的家庭总是吵吵闹闹不能像其他家庭开开心心，快快乐乐的过日子呢？我真的很厌倦这样的一个家庭了， 每天吵闹的过日子。为什么不能开开心心的过每一天呢？一定要吵吵闹闹的。 有时候，我在想是不是我的错，不应该来到这个家庭，因为我做错的是害到这个家庭不能快快乐乐的过日子。 我很怀念以前我奶奶在的时候的日子，每天很开心，很快乐，只从我阿婆在我19岁离开了我就变成现在这样了。 我真的不知道要怎么做我家庭才能回到以前的快乐和开心的日子。我不知道要怎么做。 这一切都是我的错才会变成现在这样。我妈妈说的对，当初不应该把生下，应该把我打掉 才不会照成今天这样的事情发生。 我真的不知道应该怎么办。 多么希望我阿婆可以不要那么早就离开我，因为她的离开改变了我快乐和开心的家庭了。我多么希望她可以永远陪在我身边。 但是，我知道这是不可能的，因为人死不能复生。 我真的很怀念过去我奶奶在的日子。 因为我很高兴每天可以看到我奶奶。离开已经4年了。我舍不得你离开。