Huimin

也许有一天我离开了，你们会很开心吧。 如果我走了，请帮我做我喜欢的东西给我。 我知道我不是一个很好的人，我答应人家的事做不到。 我是一个没有用的人，不应该在这个世界上浪费时间。也许我走了，你们会更快乐，开心。 也许我走了，你就不会觉得我是一个没有用的人了。 也许我走了，世界里没有我，你们会觉得少了我没有什么大不了。 因为我是一个没有用的人，不值得让你们留恋。我是一个没有用的人，留在这个世界上根本没有用处。 如果我消失了，很多人会很开心，因为我不用连累你们了，你们也不用看到你们讨厌的人在你们身边了。 我真的很失败。我很我奶奶，我很想去找她。 我自己觉得我是一个很失败的人，一辈子让人看不起，一辈子不能成功的人。 我真的不知道我留在这个世界有什么用。 虽然那么多人不喜欢我，我只好离开。。 我知道这一些是我的错。 我很累，我很想放弃自己了。  If one day I leave this world all people will very happy and start enjoy le. This is because i am a useless person.. Things that i done always make people feel unhappy and uncomfortable.... I really don't know what make me live in this world... Every things i done make think that i am useless...  If really i am gone i think this world will be very happy and peaceful without me...  I miss my ah ma... I feel like going to find her....  What i can say is i am a person that make people forever look down on me and forever can't success.... I really don't know what make me stay in this world....  I rea...

I really very tired on what have now and very tired of being a person that has dream to make it come true, I have dream to make it come dream but i don't know how long would I take to make in come true. I really very tired now, I was thinking when my dream will come true. I hate being like this. Nowadays life is so hard, My hard work always gain nothing.... I really hate it...haish 

现在的我慢慢找回以前的我，但是我不知道我要什么？ 因为我已经是有目标的人了。 但是很多事情等着我去完成，我不知道我要的东西几时可以达到。 I already try my best to find back myslef and want to get things that I want but, time has flies and I still unable to get what I want. I really dont't know when can I get what I want. I now have a lot of things waiting for me to settle and also a lots of thing that I have not done.. But, I really very tired le, but what to do this is my promise to some one that I love... I cannot give up easily.  我真的很累，不知道我还可以撑多久。 我很怕我有一天会爆炸。  I really very tired.  我很想放弃了 但是我不能。 到现在我不知道自己要的是什么。 我很累。。 为什么没有人可以理解我做的东西。  No matter what I done people always think that I am bad person, and think that I am always doing the wrong things, I really don't understand why people keep on think in a way of that I am doing wrong things and always think what I do always let people say. I really very tired. I hate my life.  I really want to give up my life. I really cannot take it anymore. I hate being like this.  Is like...

In the first place people tell you things, you promise that won't say out but end up you say out.... Like that how people want to tell things next time....  Really the way you do now is really different from last time before you got Cancer. After you got Cancer your thinking totally different and I don't know what are you thinking.... Really you make me feel bad, I get scolding cuz of you... Nowadays i have change myself to a better person but you still same.... I really hate the way you are now...  I hate you..... I really don't want you this mother..... I really hate you.... You make my life hard...... I hate you very much...... 

When the day come that you have choice to choose who you want it to stay and leave, who u will choose to stay and who u will choose to leave? Nowadays I really don't know why i have all this thinking. Maybe is because thing that happened nowadays makee change alot in my life and I have seen alot of thing that is good and bad and also let me seen alot ppl that who is the good one and bad one.  Nowadays I have think alot of things and want to give up things that is not important to me, friendship that is not important to me. I just want to keep those things is important and cherish those friendship and relationship that is important to me. Last time, I have lose alot things now I want to gain it back and make things different.  No matter what happen some one is always in my heart never change. Those people use to make things unnecessary i will not care so much. I will care those is good for me and cherish what is in my life now.  This is because i finally know who are the o...

I don't know no matter what I do people always have comment on me. When I use my own matter to do things, people always have comment on it. What I do always people don't like me. No matter how much I have change but still there are people still don't like me. Always find me problems, but I don't care what they say bad things on me and I just do what is right for me.  As long as I never do things that wrong and when is things is my wrong i will admit and I will tell the truth. I don't know what u know about me. Just want to say I doing have my right and pls don't judge ppl with ur knowledge.  

现在的我已经很努力找回以前的我，现在的我已经很努力要改变我自己，现在的我已经很努力学习新东西，现在的我慢慢要改我的脾气。但是，我总感觉没有人会理解我， 现在的我总感觉没有人会喜欢我，理会我了。 这一切都要怪我自己，因为这一切的一切都是我做出来的才会变成今天这样。 为什么我就是不能控制自己的脾气呢？ 要等到快失去了才来珍惜呢？ 都怪我以前不会想。 我一定会让时间来证明自己是可以的。 让时间证明一切，让时间冲淡一切。 

我真的很不明白为什么有些人很喜欢拿以前的事和恩怨来讲呢？ 还一直搬弄是非去害人。 过了那么多年的事还怀恨在心吗？ 本来就是你的错啊，被人骂，被人讲到你的店没有得做也是你自己搞出来，而不是我们害你。为什么你就认定是我们呢？ 你现在还去别的店打工还是什么的。 在那边搬弄是非，造谣是非。 你现在想怎样哦？ 要用别人来害我，对付我和我妈妈吗？ 你以为很容易哦。 你这样作小心有报应啊。 不要告诉我 你没有听过吗？ 人在做，天在看, 人在讲，天在听？  善有善报，恶有恶报，不是不报，是时辰未到。。。。 哈哈哈 我会慢慢看你怎么死

我的错让你对我很失望，让你不想管我了。 我知道这一切是我的错，我知道我说再多对不起也没有用了。 你已经不想管我了，但是，我不想失去你。因为我现在只限下你一个了。 我不想失去你，我会努力证明给你看。我知道这切都是我的错，这一切是我搞出来的才会让你对我这样。 我真的不知道该怎么办，要怎么做你才会像以前这样呢？ 我的心很痛，痛不是在你不理我，不关心我， 而是我的错误变成这样。 我一直怪我自己为什么要这样。 为什么答应你的事做不到给你。 我已经很努力了，最后还是失败。 我怪自己没有用。 我不知道要怎么挽回你对我疼爱和关心。 不管怎样我一定会证明给你看。 

我感觉自己很没有用.  不管我做什么工都做不久。我一直被人看不起。 我是一个很没有用的人，我现在在怪我自己为什么做工做不久。 我也不想一直靠我的父母啊。 因为没有知道我的痛苦，每一个人以为我做工不能久是我的脾气。 但是，你们不懂我做工从来不用脾气的，除非太过分不然我是不会的。 我做工一直被欺负，被老板刁难的时候没有人帮我， 我只能默默的承受，但是，我承受久也会受不了。 我每次很用心做每一份工，但是最后承受了什么我都没有真正说出来。 因为我说了你们都会认为是我的错，是我的脾气。 但是你不知道，我从来不把脾气带去工作 除非逼不得已。 这次的工是我的梦想，做西餐。 因为我拿刀手会抖所以才不做的。 我真的很辛苦，很难过你们知道吗？ 你们不知道 一直在说我。 我真的很想好好把一份工做好，但是我一直被欺负要怎么做下去。 后面我受到的苦你们看不到，你们只看到前面的我又失业了。我有苦说不出来。 我藏在心里不说 是最后的。 因为说了也没有用。 我把痛苦放在心里直到我死的那天由上天和神来帮我吧。 再累也要承受下去。 

我好怀念以前我们两个一起出去走，一起去玩的日子。以前跟你玩到很开心很快乐，但是，现在反而找不回以前的快乐和开心了。 不知道为什么我感觉以前的那种快乐和开心回忆找回来。 我到底做错了什么？ 为什么一直找不回我的开心和快乐？ 我们以前的开心和快乐到底去了那里？？ 虽然我们的感情很近，但是，有些以前的回忆不知道什么时候变模糊了。 我很伤心的责怪自己，是不是我做错了什么。 以前属于我们的快乐和开心回忆到底去那里？ 何时才能找回来呢？ 我真的不知道。 我是怕如果有一天我死了，找不回这些回忆我会遗憾一辈子。 我想把回忆永远放在心里。 我真的怕有一天我死了，至少我没有遗憾，没有后悔认识你。 

In this year of 2021 I want to do things that I like and do things to make my family and loves don't like down on me. What I want to do is to find a job and work hard on it and earn more money and get things that I want and make my wish come true. I really don't want people to look down on me, I really don't want people to look down on me. Now I have my own dream, that is I want to work hard on what I like which is lion dance, I want to put more effort to learn and do my best in it. secondly, I want to find a job that I can earn more money and go take a driving license and own a car, I can bring my parents out every time and during chinses new year I can bring them to relatives house without waiting for cab or take grab spent a lot of money.  I want to let them feel prove of me, last time, I use to do a lot of things make them feel very disappointed of me and now is time for me change and do what is right and do things to make them proud of me! I will work hard for it!